Huezi Changanya!

Sometimes, I feel I am in a very crucial point in my life. The point where you have to decide whether you will do what was always prescribed to you in the sense of an educational perspective or whether you will try pursue the sometimes, very strange and what you may describe as impossible dreams. The latter may refer to instances where a humongous number of members of the millennial generation prefer to take a more artistic approach in life such as, making a living by taking photographs of people (as weird as that may sound, it actually is true. Well. Not only in the movies.) The former option is more acceptable. It is the safe thing to do. That should mean it is the right thing to do.  Well, at least that is what we so often think so. This more popular route in life demands a more serious approach towards education and professionalism in whatever field one chooses to delve in. Rather than putting our preferred set of skills to the test, it strives to instill, sometimes one and at other times a whole set of foreign skills to our sometime not so willing brains.

 

Anyway, I am not talking about that today. I am talking about a certain gentleman that has struck a balance in the way he has gone about life. Life and what it demands from us. Life and what we must do to get around every jab it throws at us. Life and the perfect set of skills that we can use to propel us to what we may call a better position in life. The way he is able to sit, assess, brainstorm and come up with absolutely creative concepts and designs that not only I am able to connect with on a personal level, but also seen a large number of people take an absolute liking towards. The Swahili say, “Chema chajiuza, Kibaya chajitembeza. “ I know the vast majority of you know what that means, but for the few who don’t, the phrase simply means the best gems in life will always stand out and that is exactly what this gentleman’s designs do, they stand out! All this, with a creative edge, a hint of professionalism and the bit of class we all like.

 

 

It felt odd doing a talk with one of my homeboys. We tend to shy away from our more conscious side. We like to be boys. Boys like to have fun. What is it they say again? Yes, boys will be boys. We were on the set of the Kijiweni Television project. Bob was in a yellow sweatshirt, khaki shorts, and a matching grey hat. The Kangol brand. Pinned to his sweatshirt, a yellow badge with the words, ‘Black Lives Matter’ on it. I forgot his beaded Maasai belt, with yellow, red and white beads. African designer look. Bob and another close friend, Kamau run Mtoto Designs. He was explaining to me how their latest design brand, Huezi Changanya feels more like a movement. You shouldn’t mix business and pleasure. You shouldn’t mix the dirty bunch of clothes with the clean ones. Okay, you might once in a while, but it does never feel right. Okay, it may be a little bit convenient. You shouldn’t get vague imaginations mixed up with reality. You dare not mix dreams and nightmares.

 

“I think as humans, we ought not to mix our rights with our wrongs. We have to identify the positive side of life and blend with that, giving little attention to any negative endings. Huezi Changanya is a reminder to ourselves and to everyone around us that we should not be caught up in any mix-ups in life whatsoever. Of course, a little trouble is guaranteed, but inevitably, you win, if you keep trying. “Bob said.

“So, Huezi Changanya is going to be around for a while? “ I ask.

“Yes, we want to get word out there about the kind of message we are sharing. This is a message that a lot of people need to hear. This is a message that would actually bring out the best in each and every one of us. It does not matter in what way you get the message, what matters, is the feeling of achievement the message should express.

I go ahead and ask him, “So, anything different you will introduce to the market soon?”

“We might bring some new designs and all kinds of visual depictions that may appeal to a lot of people but the message will remain the same.  There’s a lot of ideas in terms of colours, shapes, patterns and prints that we already have in mind but everything shall be rolled out at the right time.” He replied.

At that moment it strikes me that the kind of consistent effort Bob has put and continues to plan with is what makes this movement more appealing. Huezi Changanya was introduced back in 2018. They have done gift cards, T-shirts, sweatshirts, clutch bags and even shopping bags all designed in simple but unique ways, sometimes blended with African couture or artistic impressions that will leave anyone in awe. You would love to pair any one of his tees with your favourite pair of chinos, jeans or even skirts along with a clean pair of sneakers or sandals. Say no more, click on this link to have a look at some of their latest designs https://www.instagram.com/mtoto_design/. “Bob, what’s the end game of this brand? What do you want to have achieved by this brand in say, five years? “I ask, with a more long term view on things.

 

“I just want to put a message out here. I want to be able to push a message in so many different ways that so many different people relate to. To push a message in pictures, colours, patterns and symmetries that appeal to people in a fun way. It should be fun not to mix your life up. To not let our struggle define us, should be fun. The message should push us to live in happiness and to have a clear state of mind.” He answers with a clear vision of the message and how it can be a positive thing for anyone that understood it.

 

I was satisfied. At that point and time, I understood exactly what the message on the T-shirt I wanted to own meant. I figured, having a cool tee is cool and all, but having a cool tee that expressed my own principles is way cooler. To be able to have my idea of life on what I put on. Sounds cool, right? Check out their latest designs and figure how you, your partner, your brother, your parent or your neighbour can rock a stylish design while spreading the message.

 

 

 

 

 

In the dark…

Feeling numb; no pain tears I cried; in vain Weathered the sunshine and rain got stuck in the mad, skin black; got charred Wall on my back, down bad one more bud, might go mad

Sick and proud, my troubles they bowed Rich and loud, my fears they cowed Some come in squares, others go round I dare, you dare, my heart is a pound

Still in the clouds, I love the stare Sick and proud, can’t help but glare Reason I’m loud? the reigning mayor Despise the crowd, pull me a chair

Switch tables with flair, here, there Hope I’m theirs, say me a prayer Got to the majors, slightly a new player Game so outrageous, can’t sub a player Grab me a chair, table of rare

It is what it is.

Like a lot of people, it is during these unprecedented times (stay safe guys) that I find myself watching numerous screenplays. The most recent one being, The Rookie. As the name suggests, the film depicts the life of a cop newly integrated into the LAPD. However, John Nolan, isn’t your average rookie. He is forty years old, divorced and recently had a change of environment. His sergeant points out that he is, in fact, undergoing a mid life crisis.

American TV series, The Rookie.

Unlike what has been made to be seen as the norm, police work, is actually supposed to be very objective and impartial. It is for this reason that John struggles with his new job. He is a good man and tries to implement his morals while on the job. In one of these instances, he sympathises with a robber who had to stole money to provide for his son and his household: The man (I don’t know if I would refer to him as a robber) merely purchased groceries and paid his water bill. Harmless, right? However, as John finds out, his new job requires him to maintain law and order, which means, his work is not to justify right or wrong actions, rather, to distinguish good and bad deeds.

Like John, many are times people get caught up in the why. We try to justify other people’s actions. We try to understand why people do things, especially when the things people do, affect us. This was the case when I lost my second ‘true love’. Yes, second. Apparently, we only get to experience true love three times over our lives. I don’t know the accuracy of this notion, but hey, I can’t wait for number three.

I was just done with high school; full of energy and vigour. Not only did I face the challenge of choosing my life path in terms of a career, but I also felt the need to find a partner to work out life with. Sherie was older than I was. She had a lovely spirit. She still does , I presume. A short, beautiful and intelligent lady; a solid 8/10 for me. She never demanded much, apart from my time, my attention, a lengthy phone call once in a while and most importantly, that I be an upright man. She was perfect. In return, I made her joy my priority; such that, I was only happy after she way happy. The only thing that made me happy, was making sure she was happy, everyday.

We had a good run; five months, until, one day she didn’t reply to my text messages. I tried calling but still, no response. She’s probably attending to her chores, I assumed. One hour went by. Two hours. Three, then six. This was unlike her. She always returned my calls or texts. What was the problem? I wondered to myself.

Sherie called me in the evening. Ooh boy was I glad to hear from her.
“Hi Mike.”
“Hi, where have you been?” I asked.
“I’ve had a long day. I just lost my uncle,” she replied.
“I’m sorry.. May his soul rest in peace. Are you okay?” I asked, trying to sound empathetic.
“Of course not. We were really close. Can we talk later?”
“Okay, just don’t be too hard on yourself. Text me whenever you can.” I returned.
Neither did she not text me later that night, nor reach out for two days. I was confused and worried for my love, but I had to be the man. I hoped she would find herself again, get the peace to reach out to me and most importantly, be happy.

A week later, she finally reached out. It was relieving to hear her voice. I wore a wide, stupid smile.

“We need to break up. I think it would be best for both for us.” she declared.
My smile faded as quickly as it had lit up.
“What’s the matter?” I asked.
“Nothing. I just think we have to part ways.”
“Maybe it’s your uncle’s death. Maybe you need time away from me. I’ll give you time to mourn. I’ll always be here for you.“ I pleaded.
” No, Mike. I have made up my mind.” she reassured.
I was confused, lost and broken. I guess I loved too hard.

It is very hard to cope with a heartbreak in this day and age. I had a tone of pictures of Sherie on my phone. It took a while to delete those. We tagged each other on our Instagram posts. We were friends on Facebook. It was hard seeing her posts. It was like everything was normal for her. I always wondered why she ended the relationship. Why did she still seem happy? Was there somebody else? Did I not support her enough after her uncle’s untimely demise? Why was I wrong for her after being right for all that long? Prior to our breakup, I had bought her a pretty little dress. Would a date and the gift pave way to reignite the lost love? I never really understood why whatever happened happened.

I honestly still don’t really know why she broke up things with me. I hope I get to one day. Nevertheless, knowingly or unknowingly, I helped myself forget about her with various girls that I ‘loved’. I got caught up in my emotions and as a result, hurt a lot more people than I would have wanted to. Yes, you can go ahead and judge me.

My point exactly?
Whatever made you feel pathetic. Whoever made you cry. Take the loss and move on. The faster you comprehend that it has nothing to do with you, the better you become. They are not you and you are not them. It is what it is!

Only God knows.

The need for certainty is surely, the greatest disease of the human mind. This might be caused by an inexorable characteristic of the lives we live. Setbacks, mistakes, flaws, faux pas; I could go on and on. My point exactly? Perfection is not real.

There might be a load of people who disagree. I understand. Perfection, is actually in near sight for most of us. I reckon it’s a personality trait; the urge for spontaneity. I for one, plead the filth. Many are times I beat myself up for not being able to reach my, sporadic, unrealistically high expectations. Take for example, picking out a birthday gift for my best friend.

I don’t mean to be sentimental, but it has been eight years since we first met. I had just been expelled from an ‘ideal’ national high school. Confused, apprehensive, disappointed, but still, eager to prove my worth. I was like a new born calf; only, I couldn’t trace my mother. While he wouldn’t be too buoyant with that comparison, knowingly or unknowingly, he has sure been like a parent. Brother, would be more fitting, I reckon. Happy Birthday Bro.

Random thought: We ought to appreciate and gift our loved ones more often. After all, we’re all got!

Perhaps it’s our lethargic nature: toxic masculinity could also be a ‘reason’.We really don’t gift each other as much. Hell, I don’t even know my father’s birthday date. Regardless, I decided to break the cycle and actually get this bastard a gift. It would be easy to buy a bottle of whisky. A watch, someone suggested. I thought of a boy’s day out: Food, beer and subtle entertainment at a fine establishment. Damn Ms Rona! Nevertheless, faith without action is dead. I had to do something. I did…

American brand, Nike, is the birthplace of the prominent slogan; Just do it! The three word phrase might be one of the simplest ways to entreat that perfection is a facade. The efforts that you actually put in, are what actually matter. This might be presumably why Canadian rapper, Aubrey Drake Graham, prefers Nike over their fierce competitors, Adidas. “Checks over stripes, that’s what I like, ” he raps on Travis Scott’s, Sicko Mode.

Being perfect is really just a superlative of being good. It is trying to be the best. Rather than striving for perfection, we should strive to be good: Good to ourselves, good to the people we love, good to our neighbours, good to strangers, good to people who are good to us.

Being the best, is something everyone wants to do. We all want to broadcast our prowess, our love, our abilites in every aspect of life as ‘above the required minimum’. After all, we are tired of seeing the regular things. We want to be better, right? My question is, does it really matter?

What men want.

There’s a lot you want in life. You probably want a big furnished mansion, a luxurious car with a V12 engine and a faithful partner to be with you through your ups and downs. Okay, you probably don’t want all that. That’s just what I want. But, you do get the point, right? There are things that you want to work out for you in life. Well, similarly, there’s a lot that men want. Some want a Mercedes Benz yet some want a Toyota Harrier. Some men want a big, black beautiful woman, yet some want a petite lady. Some want to be single parents, yet some want to be happily married and so on. First and foremost, I am a man. I am writing from my own perspective. Second, I interact with men on a day to day basis. We happen to have conversations and with a variety of experiences and ideas, this is what I came up with.

Some men want love. Yes, as hard as it may be hard to believe, men do want to be loved. To be cherished and to feel like they are the only ones who exist. That begs the question. What is love? For me, love has to be the best feeling ever. Love is a set of feelings, emotions and behaviors associated with strong feelings of affection, protectiveness, warmth and respect for another person. Love can be expressed through willingness to prioritize another’s well-being or happiness above your own, extreme feelings of affection, need and attachment or sudden feelings of attraction and respect towards another person. When a man loves someone, he wants to be the best for them. He will give up everything in his favour to ensure his loved one is happy. I would literally give everything up to ensure the person I love has a smile on their face. Love is always the answer, because it means sharing what you have with someone you love, just to make them happy.

Lust. As much as this is something that both women and men want. Lust drives a lot of men. I know you are about to ask what lust is. Well, lust has to be the most alive feeling. It satisfies the rawest human feeling. Lust might not be the most popular need of humans in relationships but it is definitely the most famous. Men and women alike are lustful. Sometimes, I actually ask myself why we have sex. No. I ask myself why you people have sex. Perhaps it is because of the thrill. Maybe it’s just a fun thing to do. It might even be because of some curiosity. A lot of men are lustful and they have different reasons for it. Bottom line is, that makes them happy and complete. That is what they want.

Another feeling that men might appreciate is a lasting vibe. It’s almost like a friendship but in a romantic kind of way. Being able to vibe with someone is a very peaceful kind of feeling. The two of you are able to connect in a very natural kind of way because your personalities allow the both of you to. A mutual vibe gives you a whole lot of understanding simply because you are on the same wavelength; in conversations, perspectives and identities. Sometimes, a man just enjoys sitting down with a lady and speaking about how Messi is a better player than Ronaldo or vice versa. When a man vibes with someone, there is a common ground of understanding and that is peaceful. There is no prejudice or judgment. Just a connection.

Basically, men identify what they want and who best to pair up for whatever it is they want. A man will be with you because you love him and you complete him or simply because you satisfy his sexual needs in a very fulfilling way or just because you understand what he stands for in life and there’s a mutual understanding in that. I think a share of each and every of these needs would be the ‘perfect’ mix of what to give to a man.

Football is Life

Football. This is world’s most popular sport. Football is played in over two hundred countries in the world with just over 250 million players and three billion fans. Those are huge figures, meaning there’s a lot of diversity in the sport in form or styles, concepts, beliefs, emotions and investments. In fact, football is a part of a humongous number of the world’s population making the Fifa World Cup the most watched sports event in the history of television, amassing an audience of 3.5 billion viewers. Football is so popular such that it’s enjoyed in a variety of ways such as ;beach soccer, 5 or 7 a side matches, professional football, video games and even foosball(table football).

Now; football involves a lot of ups and downs. Sometimes, the biggest teams win and sometime they lose. Take an example, Chelsea Football Club, went through an eighteen match unbeaten run at the start of this season whereas in February they won only three out of seven of their competitive matches. That is what life is really about. Sometimes you win battles yet sometimes you don’t. Sometimes you lose. While you might succeed at times, there are certain times that you will fail in whatever it is that you do and there is completely nothing you can do about it. Just like in football, things can’t always can’t go in our favour and we have to live with that. We have to be prepared for the worst parts of our lives meaning, we have to accept our losses when they show up. Neymar Junior, the very famous (sometimes for the very wrong reasons) Brazilian footballer was an integral part of a revered attack for Barcelona Football Club alongside Lionel Messi and Luis Suarez. This fierce frontline scored over a hundred goals for three seasons running, helping their team to win a myriad of trophies including the most coveted price in European club football; the UEFA Champions League. It was like the perfect love story. The football world was more than impressed, some suggesting the trio would be at the front of the scene for a very long time. Yet as crazy as it might have seemed, French giants, Paris Saint Germain coughed up the unthinkable 222 million euros to lure Neymar to the French capital. Barcelona lost their wonder boy and despite numerous attempts at replacing the skilfull Brazilian, it has never been the same again.

While football can be played merely for fun or even charity. Every team wants to win. Teams just don’t get on the pitch and run up and down the flanks to pass time. There are plans, styles and tactics that are implemented to do one over opponents and most of the time, it is the tactics used that determine the outcomes and winners of football matches. While modern football has seen a surge in high pressure and quick tactics there are managers who have stuck with the same old defensive and solid style of football. Manchester City for example, are well known for their manager’s playing style, ‘tiki taka.’ One second the ball is here, the other, it’s in the net. This fast and furious technique blew the world away when City won the league last year, amassing 100 points and winning 32 out of a possible 38 matches. If you take a little trip down memory lane, you might have heard of Leicester City’s heroics, winning the league with a counter attacking system, one of the tried and tested ways to win. What I’m saying is, there’s different strokes for different folks. Sometimes we tend to do things differently because it worked out for another person yet unfortunately it doesn’t work that way. What works is belief in yourself and your own principles and ideas. Your time is coming. Tweak your schedule a bit, get the right kind of people around you and stay disciplined in your craft. It will surely work out!

Juventus; Italy’s most successful football club has won the Italian league for seven consecutive seasons. Sometimes, people point this at lack of competition in the league given the Old Lady’s reserve of immense talent and funds. Take nothing from Juventus though: they have been going at it for over ten years after a huge scandal that left the club at rock bottom in 2006. Relegated and deprived of their huge funds, the club set on a course of rebuilding the team with players and a coach who believed in the club’s philosophy. They have never looked back since. Currently, they are on top of the Italian league with the second team(Napoli) 19 points less. Not only that, their talismanic foward, Ronaldo is unsurprisingly the joint top scorer in the league with 19 goals. Consistency is very crucial in football, so as it is in life itself. Football teams have to perform well over a long period of time, winning matches to be regarded as the best and ultimately win trophies. The best teams don’t win three matches in a row then lose four on the trot then draw a couple of matches and end up winning leagues. The best teams stay winning; they go on unbeaten runs that other teams envy. Similarly, in whatever we do, it is crucial to keep focus and show consistent efforts towards achieving our goals. If you want that ‘perfect’ body, you need to keep working out. There’s no way that dream car is going to end up in your backyard unless you keep saving. You have to keep going!

The football world is never short of surprises and this week, once again, another upset was delivered. Real Madrid, arguably the most successful club in the past three years were kicked out of the prestigious UEFA Champions at the round of sixteen by Ajax, a club with a lot of history in itself but not with as huge ambition and expectations as those of the ‘Los Blancos.’ Some pointed the loss at a lack of ambition by the players, the ever growing gap left by the greatest player to don the Real Madrid jersey, Cristiano Ronaldo, an inexperienced coach and even an aging team. Truth is, Ajax were the hungrier team. They were already down 2-1 following the first leg in Amsterdam. In fact, Real Madrid captain, Sergio Ramos was cocky about his team’s lead to an extent that he accrued an unnecessary yellow card, that would keep him out of the second leg. As stupid as that decision may sound, why not? There’s no way Real Madrid would lose to Ajax at the Santiago Bernabeu. However, Ajax turned the tables and won the second leg 4-1. The under dog won. You might not be the best at what you do; you might be up against huge expectations that no one expects you to conquer; you might have failed to deliver yesterday. You can always come back from anything. Take for instance, you (Ajax) against a tough exam retake or a second job interview after failing on the first one (Real Madrid). You can always keep your focus and do the very best. Fall today, pick yourself up and go on!

the little things

You know what I think? I think that the little things in our lives affect us very much; both positively and negatively. For some people, the little things mean a lot and for some, well, little things are just little and they are not enough. Take for instance a man whose preference of a partner is a plus size lady whereas some just prefer petite ladies. Again, some ladies prefer male counterparts with large genital parts while for some, small is pretty much okay. Some people like a lot of sugar in their tea or coffee or whatever their poison is while some do just a little bit of sugar and they are good to go. For some people, a huge wardrobe with a multitude of clothes will do yet other people keep just a small number of clothes and are pretty much content.

You know when a friend is supposed to do you a favour and fails to; for whatever reason it is. It sucks. But again, it’s your friend. You have been through a lot. You know there’s many times your friend has been there for you and you have been there for your friend a lot of times. So, it’s okay. It really is. But then, your friend doesn’t do it again…and again and yet another time. It gets into your nerves and you feel like that shouldn’t be the case. You feel like your friend has to come through for you, but, for one reason after the other, he or she doesn’t. You are pissed; but then your friend comes through for you in a lot of other different things. So, either you are worried about a ‘little thing’ or your friend thinks your favour is a “little thing’ and it really can’t get between you.” Mike haezi jam kitu kidogo kama hio.”

There are times when someone close to you; your sibling, your close cousin or your better half maybe clearly lets you down. You told them to cover up for you and they fail to. You tell him or her to stand in for you and they fail to show up. That person is clearly guilty and ought to have done better for you. But you love that person and to you, it’s completely okay for them to fuck up this once. Besides, we all make a few mistakes once in a while. (That’s not just an excuse. I really mean it. You, really mean it) the thing is, your girlfriend thinks you are mad and keeps on asking, “Uko sure uko sawa?” It’s just a ‘little thing’ to you and now you have to keep reassuring her that it is really okay. Take for instance, your brother fails to show up for your graduation party because he was going wild won’t say it. “Mazee mbona nilikosa. Najua Alice hakuskia poa.”
While doubt is a negative feeling, there’s nothing worse than knowing you could do better especially when there’s a lot of people looking up to you or when there is a lot at stake. You know your girlfriend wants a certain dress for her birthday, but you can’t save up enough money for the dress, maybe because of your own misdoings. You feel indebted to her. You get her a nice take away pizza and head home to Netflix chill with some chocolate maybe. You know she deserves better; she deserves what she wanted. “I know she’s not as happy as she would be if I got her that dress,” you say to yourself. Contrary to your thoughts, she’s happy. She figures this ‘little gesture’ is good enough. She is content and she loves you. Besides, you can always get her the dress some other time.

In the same way, you might feel indebted to your parent. Your mother expected you to pass your interview and get the job she so longed to see you get. Instead, you get nervous, mumble a little during the interview and you fail to get the job or the promotion, maybe. You feel like you have let your mother down. Your thoughts tell you that your mother expects a lot from you and for you. You feel she will be disappointed in you. However, she’s happy for you. She knows life is a tough journey and she knows better days are coming. She’s happy for the ‘little’ you have got right now.

Yes, the ‘little things’ might be difficult thing to deal with but you need not worry about that. Instead, make ‘little’ efforts count. Keep saying that short prayer. You have to keep lifting that extra weight to gain that muscle. Keep buying your boyfriend those ‘little’ gifts: the socks, boxers, a coffee date once in a while. Keep covering up for your friend when he can’t get the job done himself. You should fill in more for your sister when she’s gone out with her friends. Hug your father a little more and make him feel worthy; appreciate him every chance you get to, however little you think it is. Continue making your tiny steps towards your huge goal. It won’t be long till the tiny steps will turn into large strides. The Swahili say, “Haba na haba hujaza kibaba.” After all, it is the ‘little things’ that matter.

I could lie a little more.

I wanted to start by saying everybody lies, but, you already know that. However, saying it justifies everybody else’s belief. Besides, just because everyone does it, does not mean I have to do it. Nevertheless, if one thing is for sure; we all lie. You probably lie. I lie, a lot.

There was this one time. I was very young; probably about ten years old. I was getting ready for school like any other day. However, there’s just that feeling I had; I didn’t want to go to school that day. I felt like staying at home for the day was a good choice. So, right after my early morning bath, I told my father we had the day off. Mind you, it was Valentine’s Day (You should know that I felt that was a very solid excuse and that he would fall for the trick, considering that he’s old school and Saint Valentine wasn’t his cupid). However, things didn’t go as planned. The man beat the crap out of me.

Sometimes, I don’t even know that I’m lying. That’s how much I lie to people and to myself. ” I’m okay!” That’s always the answer. I wish I couldn’t say that I’m okay to people as much as I do. It makes me wonder; maybe I have the wrong set of people around me or maybe I am just difficult. Sometimes I’m not even okay and I just want to let it all out. To an individual, a lie may look beneficial, but maybe it isn’t as good as it looks. I think a lie makes people expect too much from us. Maybe not too much, but expectations in themselves are scary. Take for instance lying to your friend that you have something covered, say a favor that he or she needed so bad. Now your friend expects so much from you than you can possibly offer. If you don’t hold up your lie, you are now deemed a liar. You are the toxic person. The truth would have been a much safer option. “Just tell me the truth!” This has to be the most difficult statement to take in because as much as the truth is painful and right, a lie covers for everything. A lie is an excuse. It gives you more time to work on what is right.

Lying to people; your friends, your parents, your better half and to people around you is one thing but lying to yourself is a whole different issue. A lie to oneself has to be the most difficult to take. Sometimes, I have to lie to myself that I do not need to do it now. That I can always do it tomorrow. That kills me, literally. I always have to set an imaginary set of circumstances that will make it easier to do it tomorrow and not today. I lie to myself that tomorrow is a better day to do it. That way my ambition lags. I find myself in a situation in which I can achieve my goal today but I lie to myself that tomorrow will be a better day to achieve the same. I know I can get the assignment done today but I lie to myself that tomorrow will be a better day to do it.

That said, lying isn’t all that bad. I feel very evil after lying but it gives me some inner strength. It gives me room for improvement. If I lie to someone that I already did something; I have to do it. Now! Sometimes, lies propel me to do much better things. “Babe, do you have plans for Valentines?” your better half might ask and even though you have no conclusive plans you will go ahead and say, “Yes, I have something in mind.” If you really have no plans, you will be forced into making some humongous plans not only to cover up your fabricated answer but also to meet the expectations given to you. As queer as it may sound, lies also protect people. “Baba, don’t take a lot of ice cream: you will get a stomach ache.” All the lies my parents told me seem absurd but they were merely protecting me from the harsh world. Sometimes, my friend cautions his younger sibling from watching movies with him (probably because there a lot of adult scenes) just to prevent an increased sense of curiosity from the young lad. There is probably no reasonable excuse for telling a lie until you have to lie to guard your reputation. I mean, when a lie saves you. I might go as far as saying a lie might be the one thing between life and death. Well, your life might not be at stake but you really need to be right. What do you do then? You lie. “If you have not completed my homework, step forward!”

“Your name is Brian! Are you sure I can trust you?” (No pun intended)

“So you haven’t been with any guy before. Are you sure you are a virgin?”

I mean, the list is endless. There is that one circumstance that you would most likely have to lie in; and why: to be trusted. As wrong as it may sound, lies help us keep our credibility. I’m sure confessing to my teacher that I had not completed my homework would only hand me a thorough beating and so would admitting I had lost my new pair of flip flops. So what did I do? Simple. I lied.

The thing about lying is that, it is addictive. One lie is never enough. You have to lie to cover up for your first lie, so really, it seems almost impossible to desist from lying; and while almost everyone is a liar, it takes a clever person to come up with a ‘successful’ lie. Mind you, a lie isn’t a lie if the person you intend on lying to finds out the truth. So, for a lie to hold up, one has to constantly lie. You have to lie about your lie. You have to lie that your lie isn’t a lie. You have to lie constantly. You pretty much have to be a liar. A smart one! There’s this time my late grandmother called me early on a Sunday morning. Now, normally, I would be preparing to go to church, but not on that particular Sunday. “My son, (She rarely called me by my name) are you awake?” Obviously I was; but then, came the first lie. “Yes, I woke up very early. You know I have to go to church.” Maybe she knew I was lying, so, she pushed further, “Are you going alone?” Then came lie number two. “I’m going with Brian (A friend.)” Now, before you go ahead and judge me. My friends and I go to church sometimes. Just not all the times. She did not stop there. “So, which church are you going to?” I really had to lie about that.

Neither am I teaching you how to lie nor am I encouraging you to lie, but if you have to lie, remember the damn lie. Picture lying to someone and forgetting that you did. It puts you in a tough situation. You either make a fool of yourself (Well, not completely) by admitting you lied or you are forced to lie about your lie. “I thought you said…”Telling the truth after initially lying makes you a liar, so, maybe I could lie a little more.

HER

I never thought that I could actually get tired of my type. You know the kind that always knew how to tap into your inner demons. My type mostly comprised of bad boys, rich dudes and guys who were good in bed. I finally got tired of the same old good meets bad. I wanted a change. I started missing the simple romantic moments with a guy. Things like going for random walks, typical cuddles in the cold, Netflix and chill of course; how could I leave that out? Late night talks of nothing important just to pass the time by. I kind of needed that. All the other guys I had been with were just basic and predictable: meet up, hook up and pack up. I needed a change. I needed a challenge; a reason to feel special, to feel like a lady. I needed something different for once.

If you ask me, I think love is underrated. It’s such a strong feeling. Falling in love isn’t easy either. For sure, true love isn’t assured. In fact, some people actually die before they experience true love. It’s a rare thing. Like the eclipse, I would say, or a shooting star (even though that’s just a belief). But true love? True love is a beautiful and rare thing. It’s an unexplainable feeling. But there are people like me who fall in love every month. Like the clockwork of my own monthly period. It’s mostly just Tom for January, James for February, Clyde for March and so on. See, it’s not what it’s supposed to be when I’m the one who’s experiencing it. I never understand actually. Anyway, that prince Charming. Yes, the right one. He’s coming my way. I just know it. I will be patient.

My colleagues at the office were planning a hip lunch date for me since I had just graduated with my very first Masters’ Degree in Law. How accomplished one must seem to feel. Well yes, it was a hustle, and it was finally over. For a moment I thought I was getting old. Maybe that’s why I get the kind of guys I get: Men with no plans for marriage. But honestly, me being a 28 year old lady should be a clear enough sign that I am ready to settle down and have a house to call home. But what am I doing? I’m busy trying out every ring in every jewellery store just to console myself that it will happen soon enough.

Anyway, The Pizza Den was the zone. Being a Tuesday, it’s doubles for everyone. We got there and just seeing how packed it was, was torture enough. I mean, how can a place like that harbour all those people at the same time? At that point the whole group was demoralised so we decided to leave. As I turned to face the exit, I bumped into this guy. He was slightly big. His body physic clearly indicated he should make a new friend; the gym. But generally he was just okay. I looked up to see the face of the giant that almost squashed me. Well oh well, he was cute. Probably too handsome for his own good, and I guessed he didn’t know it. He apologised and kept quiet, speechless. It was obvious he liked what he saw, and so did I, but he said nothing else. Even after a slight tease to clear out the tension caused by our clumsiness. Nothing. He then walked off to the counter and I walked towards the exit. Suddenly, he calls out in my direction. I didn’t know how, but I had a feeling I was the one being called.

I turned and faced the caller, and there he was, standing before me. His voice said it all. He was quite the gentleman and I couldn’t stop smiling with every second that passed as we talked. I gave him my number; since my phone was back at the office charging up, told him my name and left. But here is the thing; from the moment I met this guy, I was on auto pilot. I wasn’t thinking straight. The most interesting part was that standing in front of him gave me a certain sense of peace and relief; like a drug.

I liked staring at him, but not for long because his eyes were irresistible and that was dangerous. But I liked it. I know, it’s crazy. My whole evening was filled with imaginative occasions where he and I meet in other weird, romantic and unexpected ways and then his lips would meet mine. They looked so tasty. I knew I was obsessing over a guy I only just bumped into, but I couldn’t help it. I just needed to know what his deal was and why he seemed so shy and introverted. I waited, anxiously. Anticipating the vibration of my phone with a call from a number I don’t know. That would definitely lift my adrenaline levels. I had a weird and unusual feeling that I had never felt before. I liked it as much as I feared it. After all, humans tend to fear what they cannot understand. I wanted to understand this one guy, whom I know not his name, nor where he comes from. The paranoia was intensively eating into my cool nature, leaving me restlessly waiting for one phone call. His.

The time was 9.30pm and I was not only actually losing it but also losing hope in the start of something interesting. Just as I was about to turn off the lights to sleep, the phone buzzed. Not the text buzz, but a long, systematic buzz. I am quite sure my heart stopped beating for a while. I was shaking, wondering and hoping it was him. When I answered, a mature male voice came through. It was him. He actually called. The conversation was interesting and exciting. But afterwards, I realized something; I was scared. I knew that falling for him would get toxic but I liked it. The fear of the unknown treasures beyond his mental and emotional labyrinth gradually gave life to my inner demons. The kind that would do anything to be satisfied and he was just the man for the task. Finally, the game was in session, and his name. Kevin

HIM

   Ever had that one moment in your life where you are completely out of breathe? Well, I thought it would never happen to me anytime soon. I had an assumption that it only happens in movies, and to the cool dudes out there. But not me. In fact, it mostly seemed like I was always phased out of the love scenes in life. Nothing actually seemed to work out when it came to girls. It’s probably something to do with my appearance; the fact that I happen to be a plus size dude. It kind of gets me missed out on the moments, and I accept it anyway. It’s not easy for a really fine girl to look at me in that kind of way. I am the friend, the listener, the guy with the nice pep talks and motivating moments. Not bad, right?

Tuesdays; Terrific Tuesday. Pizza day, right? That probably explains the body size, anyway; I walk into the pizza joint, place my order and wait. The queue was extremely long so I just had to have a seat and wait for my pizzas. I waited patiently, like the typical law abiding citizen that I am, scrolling through my phone like the whole world seized to exist and as time faded, my pizzas were ready. So I stood up, walked up to the counter to get my pizzas and head out; my concentration still on my phone; and then I bumped into her. It all happened so fast. I was quick to say sorry as usual but when I looked at her, I was breathless.

I always thought I would have the right things to say to any girl, like a script, being the typical dreamer that I happen to be. Then I meet her and I couldn’t say anything beyond the vague apology I offered. She was breathtaking. All I was thinking about as I looked at her marvelously presented face was just how I would say the right thing to sweep her off her feet. A typical prince charming move, of course. But I could say nothing! She smiled and said to me “Let me guess, you are speechless, right?” She was right. I had nothing to say. I simply smiled and walked past her, towards the counter; to fatten myself. I mean, that was the plan. I grabbed my package and just as I was about to walk out, I realized that, there was the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. Standing in front of me, expecting me to say something; something more than the apology I offered.

She was still standing there; this time though, her friends were with her. I noticed that she might be slightly older than I am. Seeing how she was dressed; a nice, black, feminine skirt suit, meant she was probably working and had her life all figured out. But those were the least of my worries. The chance was there and all I had to do was just call her aside and gather my puny courageous pieces off the ground and man up. But she was leaving. In a few seconds, she would be gone. Gone before I got the chance to know her. It would probably be the first and last time I saw her. Just then, with some sort of desperation, I blurted out, “Excuse me. Hey. Excuse me?” They all turned and stared. I was completely petrified. What now? Like the angel she was, she saved the day and walked towards me, smiling. I think she was smiling all this time. She stopped, stared at me and asked, “Finally have something to say now? Let’s hear it.” She giggled lightly; a hearty giggle that blew my heart away.

I was mesmerized not only by her beauty but also the courage she emitted with every elegant step she took towards me. Her hair, naturally presented looked so soft and curly that I wanted to touch and feel. She was lovely. “Please stop smiling. I can’t concentrate if you keep doing that. I’m trying not to say something stupid and make a fool out of myself.” I told her. She then laughed and said, “Okay, I will make this easier, call me when you have more of those cheesy phrases of yours for me. Give me your phone.” All this time I was glaring at her face. She was undeniably beautiful; a not so dark, not so light complexion and her eyes with a sparkle every time she smiled. I complied; handed her my phone sheepishly. She dialed her mobile phone number then she gave my phone back. I dipped it in my pocket and as she went through the door, I asked out loud enough for her to hear me, “What’s your name?” She then turned and said it.

That one name went through my head for the remaining part of that evening. Chloe. Chloe. Chloe. I thought, with such beauty, could I really be the only one who has seen such an amazing human being? Then I finally concluded that that day was not those kind of days. Days when I thought of things that don’t happen. Days that I dream. On that day, something wonderful happened. I met a girl and her name was Chloe.

For me, this weird feeling is not a feeling I know how to deal with easily. More so, if it comes to matters of the heart. I never really did understand how people ‘fall in love.’ It made no sense to me. In fact, I always assumed that love is just an illusion that modern human beings created so as to cover the main purpose of modern courtship, which is, sex. The one act that seems to connect all human beings. For me though, it didn’t seem substantial at all, but then again, maybe it down to the fact that I was not the kind of person to get the sex offers. Unlike the guys with the well-built bodies and the guys with the beards or the guy with the sense of style. I was just your ordinary guy. Only known when and where necessary, and then suddenly here comes this lady who is probably way out my league and also probably older than I am and suddenly she shows a level of interest towards me and now I have her number seated on my bed, wondering if I should call, text, Face time or track her down to know what kind of life she lives. (Because she may as well be an assassin.)

The clock hands raced within seconds, ushering in the next minute, the next hour. The time was exactly 9.30 pm and I finally mustered the courage to call, with the notion of giving zero concerns whether I mess up or not, though I really never wanted to screw up such a chance. I mean, who would? So, as the phone beeped, I thought of what to say and what not to say then suddenly I hear it; her voice, so elegant, so blissful and innocent, “Hello,” she said. “Hello, I’m Kevin. The guy from the pizza restaurant today. The speechless guy. Remember?” I knew I would say something stupid but I was so confident at that particular moment I couldn’t notice it. She then laughed and responded, “Yes, the big guy. Yes. I remember. How are you? ”

I breathed out. (It’s only natural that I held my breath) The game was in session. That night, I made a friend, a really good one for that matter. In fact, the first record of conversation time was 30 minutes filled with story after story and laughter.

(Be sure to be here next week for Kevin Indimuli’s sequel to this piece.)